Time Traveller

Sooooo........
The magically crossroads of life..... left or right.... straight or backwards.... up or down.... Which way do you go....
Do you follow your Brain, do you follow your heart, or do you play Russian roulette and pick one of the air...So whats the choice.... Hurry life is flying by.... Make your choice.....
...>EEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(brakes slamming)
Hell no i am in control here! I control my life i can control everything in it... you just put your mind to it... its kind of intriguing, you can mentally and physically take time and change the outcome, rewind, and instead of repeating the original answer, you can change the question. I recently had made a huge change in my life, some who know me , know what it was.... But I grabbed my life and played with the remote. I didn't rewind, you could say, but I hit the repeat button.... I grabbed life and changed the outcome of the original direction...

Now I sit here talking to myself babbling on and making no sense.... but you can change your life story... you can go back in time and change the end result... You just have to know how to do it...

Three years ago I joined the IUOE, I invested a lot of time and money and hours upon hours doing training when i could have been home with my family... It was my choice because i put family on the back burner, It went well for me but what i didn't see was my family falling away from me as i pushed myself and climbed higher and higher... Earlier this year my life took a big swing and missed the 90 mph curve ball as it crossed the home plate... this went on and things crumbled underneath me as i stepped and leaped around in my head trying to decide what i wanted... I chose and I was wrong...
I made a horrible choice and it cut me off at the knees...
I have always worked my butt off to be the best at what i am, the best at what i do... I have always exceeded and set new benchmarks and goals for myself... I strive to do the best i can...
and 90% of the time, I have made it happen... but the most important things in life aren't what you do, it is who you are. The man you are inside when it is all said and done... as for myself....
I am a father, I am a Husband, A brother, a Son and a friend.... I wish I could say I have always put these first but I haven't,  I have always said I have no regrets that I cant regret, because then i don't learn from things....
I am seeing a lot of new things lately, I want to say I strive to be the best, but that includes my family... I want to say that I am the best, I am the best dad my son can have, the best husband around... that I take care of my family and put as much effort into them as I do my career...
And I will be able to say that... I have applied at a local company in the Boise area, Working on Locomotives, I will be able to come home every night, I can say i love you to my sons face every night...To be able to lay next to my gorgeous wife every night......... I make the decision... i am choosing to take a new direction and go with it for a while....  maybe this job will be an outcome i want for a while, but maybe it wont last, I will always keep an ace in my pocket, but for now I play the low hand, the hand that isnt all that i would like, but it is the hand that will get me through and it is what i need to play right now.... Thankyou to a few very helpful individuals, and to a very select few older coworkers that give assistance and advice to help a young person who is about to make the same mistakes they did years and years ago.... I owe you....
So for now I am taking a withdrawal from the IUOE apprenticeship program, I will be back, when it is the right time...Now I start with a fresh step, a Redeal you could call it....

I don't expect pity or shock as you read this... but this me being real with myself... finding the man i am inside this body. I am not writing this post to you readers or to anyone... I am writing this to myself, so that if I get this out of my head, I can rewind and change time, so to speak before i lose more time... I put this out there for me as a release to my conscience, and my soul...